"...I completely understand where your coming from, because I was a 'loco on the calles,' at one time."

Date: Fri, 28 Feb 1997 12:35:51 -0800
From: jose (jose@sdsu.edu)
Organization: San Diego State University
To: Richard Geib (cybrgbl@deltanet.com)
Subject: Your articles on the Web

Dear Richard,

My name is Jose and I'm currently in San Diego. I wanted to relay to you that your articles are rather impressive. In some way or form, many of the sites on the web referring to gang life - glorify it.

Your experience in HELL (A) is something many people unfortunately have to live with. You have articulated well the depth of their pain. I completely understand where your coming from, because I was a "loco on the calles," at one time. I saw death so often that it numbed me to what it really was. I in fact, should not be typing this mail to you, I should be dead, but for my reasoning, God spared me...though I deserved the bullet.

I wanted to convey that I plan on writing a book sometime in the future about my life, but not for the purposes of self-glorification (look at me...I'm good now!), but to convey that deeper thought processes I lacked during those times and how I now understand the deeper issues that were going on my heart. Also, I wanted to convey hope. Our perceptions are much different as to how the world turns. My world turns by an active living God that is there. Without an eternal perspective, life just plain sucks in L.A. Again, your expressions of the heart is very touching. Thanks for your insight.

Oh, I forgot to mention a few details, I grew up in Ontario, CA and was actively involved in the gang life for many years. I was goomed into this lifestyle by my environment. I developed what I call a "survival skill" to keep from being consumed by it. However, this very same skill that I used to survive, was now like a monkey on my back! The my intrisic sub-structure was survial. I'm now in a process of breaking down that structure that is hurting my wife, whom I so dearly love. The things that I didn't existed within me that I had developed from my past, came back to haunt me. Understanding them and disassembling them only made me realize that, although I managed to survive and go beyond the barrio, so many others just like me, have that same sub-structure problem, which I feel your letter conveys, especially your police friend's story about talking to the young man near the pool. Anyway, I joined the Air Force and got out and finally arrived here at San Diego State University where now I am about ready to graduate.

Anyway, thanks again! I'm in the process of starting my web page. I don't know anything about the language (html) but I'm picking it up here and there. I'm going to insert several .jpgs of my old homeboys and myself. You'll have to check it out.

Take care!

San Diego State University
San Diego, CA

      Dear Jose,

      It is for thoughtful people like you that I wrote it, and not for those seemingly omnipresent people on the WWW interested only in more pictures of Pamela Anderson's bust or the X-Files or glorifying gang life, etc. I hope you had the chance to read some of the more positive areas of my webpage.

      I wish you and your wife all the luck in the world in the future.



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